Because of COVID, many loved ones were buried without a large memorial service. The common practice in North America used to be holding a funeral within a few days of the death. However, just because something is common practice doesn’t mean it’s the way things need to be done. It is never too late to hold a memorial service! In fact, putting on a big to-do, while you are still in the acute stages of grief might not even be the most helpful for reconciling your loss. When you allow yourself a little time, you can give more thought into how what will make the service or event most impactful for you and the other attendees.
If you are worried that people might think it’s odd, just remember this: the one upside to the pandemic is that we get to rewrite what we consider the “normal” way of doing things. By having a memorial service long after the death of a loved one, you are literally help change the way we process loss. This will give others freedom to follow suit. Read more about “Is My Grief Normal?” on our blog page today!
If you are concerned that no one else will want to attend because they have moved on, I will admit that there is a chance that some people won’t come because they don’t want to reopen that wound. However, there will be other people who would love to attend who wouldn’t have been able to attend if the funeral had been right away. Plus, you are giving people who might be grieving in isolation an opportunity to communally grieve.
Because a loss is forever, our grief is forever. It doesn’t stay acute, but the loss will forever change who we are. This means there is timeline for when we wish to memorialize a person.
If you are struggling with a loss, you also might consider speaking with a grief counsellor. Mourning is exhausting, but it’s a lot easier when you feel supported. Visit us at www.authenticlivinglondon.com for more details.
