Feeling Exhausted After a Loss

One thing about grief is that grief is exhausting. Clients often come in saying they can barely survive the day, let alone make plans for moving forward. Those with children might say, “I’m taking care of the kids, but that is it. What is wrong with me?”

What is wrong with you? Absolutely nothing.

The energetic output of processing deep emotions, such as sorrow, is no joke. You can liken it to carrying around a 100 lbs weight inside your brain. Because you are expending so much psychological energy on wading through your grief, there is not much brain space left for every day tasks like making decisions. Plus, because the body and mind are holistically joined, when the mind is exhausted, so is the body. Thus, you feel like you are dragging yourself around like a sack of potatoes.

So what can we do about it?

The number one step is self compassion. You are not choosing to be lazy. You are exhausted. There is a difference. Second, take a look at what could use accomplishing and divide it into the following four categories:

What I must do today

What I would like to do today

What can wait but needs doing

What I can have someone else do.

By dividing up the tasks into these categories, you can start allotting your reduced energy more wisely. This is about considering your output. You also have to consider your input. I know it’s hard to eat well when you are already struggling, but trying as best you can to get a bit of sun, a bit of positive socialization, a bit of fruits/veggies/quality protein truly does make a difference. But again, show self compassion. You do not have to radically change your lifestyle right now. Instead, aim for small changes, like spending 10 minutes outside and adding an additional piece of fruit to your menu. Read more about “Why Does Grief Make You Tired?” on our blog page now!

If you are feeling stuck, please reach out to our grief counselling expert. We are here to help.