According to the Dual Process Model of Grief, there are two categories of grief related activity that a bereaved person oscillates between: Loss-oriented and Restoration-oriented. With loss-orientation, a bereaved person is focusing on the loss, such as thinking about the deceased, feeling upsetting feelings, and memorializing their loss. In Restoration-orientation, the individual is looking for ways to reconnect with the world and figure out where they go from here.
When a person has a healthy attachment style, their grieving style will be a fairly balanced mixture of the two orientations. If the person has a more anxious attachment style, they are more likely to spend more time in Loss-orientation. They also might have difficulty not ruminating. When a person has a more avoidant attachment style, they will more likely spend the majority of their time in Restoration-orientation, since during restoration-oriented activities, the deceased is not the focus.
If you find you are either stuck in loss-orientation or cannot even bear to think about focusing on the deceased, it might be a good idea to talk to a grief counsellor. Read more about “How to “Get Over” Grief” on our blog page today!
