For some, Christmas is the most wonderful time of the year. For others, Christmas is the most horrible time of the year. Both perspectives are equally valid. Christmas is often very heavy laden with memories, which can feel warm when you are surrounded by loved ones, but those memories can each cut like a knife when the person you want by your side is gone. Here are a few tips for surviving December:
- Give yourself permission to ___________. You get to fill in the blank. Not up to family functions, work parties, church events etc.? You are hereby officially allowed to gracefully decline.
- Start a new tradition. If an old tradition was feeling heavy and, well, just plan old, you can stop. Honestly. You are allowed to start something new instead.
- Let people take care of you if it feels right. There is a thing called the Burden of Competency. These are the people who tend to take care of everyone and everything, but they are also the people that others forget to check in on. If this is you, if you are the one who is usually the mother or father figure to everyone else in your circle, and if you are struggling to keep your head above water, maybe now is a good time to give others an opportunity to experience the joy of serving you.
- Stick to your guns. Budgets aren’t just for money. Think of making an energy budget, a mental space budget, a time budget, and allot different events and tasks accordingly and stay within that budget.
- Be realistic. If you have suffered a loss, and you have not been able to get through a day without tears, then you might still have tears on Dec 25th. This is okay! Your feelings are valid.
- Stay healthy. As best you can, try to keep up with healthy routines, such as drinking water, only drinking and snacking in moderation, and getting in some gentle exercise. Healthy habits help with emotional regulation, meaning they help with the added stress.
Above all else, remember two words: Self Compassion. Treat yourself like your own best friend. If you wouldn’t put your own best friend through something, don’t put yourself through it either.
Sending you a thousand gentle hugs and hoping that even if today is grey, that there will still be a moment of laughter. Read more about “Supporting a Bereaved Friend” on our blog page today!
If you are feeling overwhelmed or alone after a loss, please reach out to our grief counselling expert. We are here to support you through your grief.