Trauma and grief are both intense emotional experiences that can deeply affect your life, your relationships, and your mental health. While they are often talked about together—and sometimes happen at the same time—they are not the same thing. Understanding the difference between trauma and grief can help you find the right kind of support and start the healing process in a way that’s best for you.
In This Blog We'll Explore:
The difference between trauma and grief
How trauma and grief overlap
Ways to help yourself cope with each
Healing strategies that work for both
Why it matters to work with a therapist trained in grief and trauma
What Is Grief?
Grief is a natural response to loss. Most commonly, it happens when someone you love dies, but grief can also show up after other kinds of loss—like the end of a relationship, a major life change, losing a job, or even losing a sense of identity.
Grief can bring up many emotions, including:
Sadness
Anger
Guilt
Numbness
Relief (in some cases)
Grief is not a mental illness—it’s a human reaction to loss. But that doesn’t mean it’s easy. Sometimes grief can feel overwhelming and long-lasting, especially when the loss is sudden or deeply personal.
What Is Trauma
Trauma is a psychological injury caused by experiencing or witnessing something deeply distressing, frightening, or shocking. It might involve:
Physical or emotional abuse
An accident
A natural disaster
A violent event
Medical trauma
Childhood neglect
Sudden loss
Trauma can impact how your brain and body respond to stress. You might find yourself in a constant state of alertness, numbness, or even re-living the painful event through flashbacks or nightmares. Trauma can also change your sense of safety, trust, and control.
The Overlap of Grief and Trauma
Sometimes, grief is traumatic—especially when the loss is unexpected, violent, or complicated. For example:
Losing someone to suicide or overdose
Witnessing the moment of a loved one’s death
Losing a child
Grieving after abuse or estrangement
In these cases, you may be dealing with both grief and trauma at the same time. This overlap can make healing more complex. You might feel stuck, confused, or like no one truly understands what you’re going through.
Here’s how trauma and grief can intersect:
Grief
• Deep sadness and longing
• Emotional pain
• Missing someone deeply
Trauma
• Fear and hypervigilance
• Feeling unsafe or powerless
• Physical tension or panic
Both
• Trouble sleeping
• Anger or numbness
• Avoidance and detachment
• Difficulty trusting others
How To Help Yourself: Grief
Grieving takes time and space. Here are a few ways to support yourself when you’re grieving:
Allow your feelings – Grief is not a straight line. Let yourself cry, rage, remember, or even laugh when memories come.
Talk about it – Share your feelings with someone who will listen without trying to fix it.
Create rituals – Light a candle, write a letter, visit a meaningful place, or create a memory box.
Be patient with yourself – There is no “right” timeline for grief.
Seek grief-specific therapy – A trained therapist can walk with you through the process of loss.
How to Help Yourself: Trauma
Coping with trauma often requires rebuilding a sense of safety and control. Here’s how to begin:
Focus on grounding – Use mindfulness techniques, like deep breathing, naming objects around you, or feeling your feet on the floor.
Avoid re-traumatization – Try not to force yourself to talk about it before you’re ready. Healing takes time.
Move your body gently – Trauma often lives in the body. Try walking, stretching, yoga, or dance to help release tension.
Work with a trauma-informed therapist – Therapy can help you process the experience in a safe and supportive environment.
Know your triggers – Start to notice what makes you feel unsafe or overwhelmed and learn ways to soothe yourself.
Healing Tools
While trauma and grief are different, some practices support healing no matter which one you’re facing:
Mindfulness and breathing – Helps you stay present and calm your nervous system.
Creative expression – Journaling, art, music, or poetry can give shape to what’s hard to say.
Community – Being with others who have experienced loss or trauma can be deeply healing.
Nature – Spending time outside has been shown to ease anxiety, sadness, and stress.
Rest and nutrition – Taking care of your body gives your heart and mind space to heal.
Self-compassion – Remind yourself that healing isn’t linear, and it’s okay to not be okay.
Why It Matters
If you’re dealing with grief or trauma—or both—it’s important to find a therapist who is specifically trained in these areas. Here’s why:
Grief and trauma are complex and can affect every part of your life: your sleep, your relationships, your sense of self, and your ability to function day to day.
A therapist trained in grief work will understand how to hold space for sorrow without trying to “fix” or minimize your pain.
A therapist trained in trauma will know how to help you feel safe, avoid re-triggering, and slowly process what happened without becoming overwhelmed.
These therapists understand that grief and trauma don’t follow a neat timeline and that healing isn’t about “getting over it”—it’s about learning to live with what has happened and finding meaning, support, and strength along the way.
Working with someone who gets it can make a powerful difference in your healing journey. You deserve that kind of support.
You Don’t Have to Navigate This Alone
Reaching out for help can feel vulnerable—but it’s also one of the strongest things you can do.
When you’re navigating grief, trauma, or emotional overwhelm, therapy offers a steady hand and a safe place to land.
Lizzane Hills offers compassionate, trauma-informed support for those who are carrying the weight of loss and pain. She’s not here to rush your healing—but to walk beside you with gentleness, care, and deep respect for your experience.
Therapy isn’t about “getting over it.” It’s about finding space to breathe, process, and begin to move through—at your own pace, and in your own way.
You don’t have to do this alone.
Read More Like This
