Why Grief Comes in Waves: Understanding the Natural Rhythm of Mourning

Grief is a powerful emotional experience that affects everyone differently. While some people expect it to be a straight line from sadness to healing, most find that grief comes in waves—sudden surges of emotion that can crash over you when you least expect them.

This blog will explore why grief feels like it comes in waves, how to navigate these emotional ups and downs, and why this pattern is not only common but also a healthy part of the healing journey.

What Does It Mean That Grief Comes in Waves?

When people say “grief comes in waves,” they mean that the feelings of loss—like sadness, anger, confusion, or even numbness—don’t stay constant. Instead, these emotions rise and fall.

One day, you might feel like you’re coping well. The next, you may be overwhelmed by emotion again. This pattern can continue for weeks, months, or even years after the loss.

Why Does Grief Come in Waves?

1. Your Brain Is Trying to Protect You

Right after a loss, your brain often goes into a kind of shock or autopilot. This is your body’s way of protecting you from the full force of pain all at once. Over time, the grief surfaces in manageable pieces—waves.

2. Ties to Memory and Triggers

Waves of grief can be triggered by things like a certain song, a smell, a location, or an anniversary. These reminders can cause your emotions to suddenly feel raw again, even if you felt okay just moments before.

3. Healing Isn’t Linear

Healing from loss is not a straight path. It’s more like a spiral or a tide. Some days feel calm, while others feel stormy. This is because healing doesn’t mean forgetting—it means learning how to carry the grief differently over time.

4. Love Doesn’t End With Death

Grief is a reflection of love. When someone you love is no longer here, your connection to them doesn’t just disappear. That bond can cause waves of longing, sadness, or even joy as you remember them.

What Do Grief Waves Feel Like?

Grief can show up as tears, heaviness, memories, restlessness, or even relief. Whatever you’re feeling—it’s valid. Grief looks different for everyone.

When Do the Waves of Grief Happen?

Grief can rise during holidays or in quiet, unexpected moments—a scent, a song, a memory. It doesn’t follow a schedule, and that unpredictability can feel overwhelming.

Is It Normal for Grief to Feel Worse Over Time?

Yes, and no. While many people feel better over time, there can be moments—even years later—when the grief feels just as strong as it did in the beginning.

This doesn’t mean you’re going backward. It means that grief is complex and deeply tied to your ongoing experiences.

How to Cope When Grief Hits in Waves

Let it come – Don’t fight the feelings. Cry, rage, remember—grief needs space.
Be kind to yourself – This is part of healing, not a setback.
Talk to someone – You don’t have to carry it alone.
Stay grounded – Light a candle, take a walk, eat, rest. Small acts help.

Grief comes in waves—and that’s okay. Let yourself feel it. Be gentle with yourself, talk to someone you trust, and find small ways to honour your loved one. Whether it’s lighting a candle, taking a walk, or simply resting—caring for your body and heart matters.

When to Seek Extra Support

If the waves of grief are interfering with your ability to work, sleep, eat, or care for yourself—or if they lead to feelings of hopelessness—you might benefit from professional help. At Authentic Living London, our therapists understand that grief is not something to fix—it’s something to walk through, together. We offer in-person and virtual grief therapy in London, Ontario, for anyone struggling with the loss of a loved one, a relationship, or a major life change.

Reach Out Now

You Don’t Have to Navigate This Alone

Grief is like the ocean—sometimes calm, sometimes stormy. The waves may knock you off your feet, but over time, you learn to float, swim, and eventually walk again.

You are not broken. You are grieving. And your grief is a reflection of your love.

If you or someone you know is navigating the waves of loss, know that you don’t have to do it alone. Help is here.

Grief can feel overwhelming—but you don’t have to face it alone. Lizanne Hills, grief counsellor at Authentic Living London, offers compassionate, specialized support to help you process loss in a way that feels safe and healing. If you’re ready to take the next step toward support, reach out today to book a session with Lizanne. Your healing matters.