How to “Get Over” Grief
One of the biggest lies about grief is that grief is something you can “get over”, but grief is not something that you cure, because there is nothing wrong with grief. Grief hurts so much worse than you ever imagined, but it is a natural response to a loss. When you lose someone, your mind and body have to learn all over again how to operate in a world - a new world that does not include them in a physical way. Because our emotions act as signals, such as warning of possible danger, when you have to navigate a new world, there are likely going to be all kinds of negative feeling emotions. You might even feel like you are truly losing your mind. This is all normal. But just because something is normal, doesn’t mean it doesn’t hurt, and hurt badly.
You can liken grief to giving birth. It is the worst pain a woman will ever likely feel, but her body knows what to do, even if she has never gone through it before. However, the birthing process goes a lot more smoothly if the woman giving birth has support. Yes, there are times when things so sideways and intervention is needed, but the majority of people (around 90%) will learn how to live with their loss without needing psychiatric intervention. Just because you are not having problematic grief, such as Prolonged Grief Disorder, does not mean you should not reach out for support.
Signs you could benefit from grief support:
You feel overwhelmed and alone.
You don’t feel like you have anyone to talk to.
You are thinking of hurting yourself, or even killing yourself.
You are having a hard time making decisions.
It bothers you that you can’t stop thinking about your loss.
It seems like a good idea.
I wish I had a quick fix for your pain. Unfortunately, grief can’t be rushed.
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