Surviving Christmas After a Loss
The holiday season, with its twinkling lights and festive cheer, can be a bittersweet time for those grappling with loss. Whether you've lost a loved one, a job, or a sense of normalcy, the holidays can magnify the emptiness in your heart. While there's no magic formula to make the pain disappear, there are ways to navigate this challenging season with grace and resilience.
“…just feel what you feel and at most be curious about how you feel, without judgment.”
Acknowledge Your Feelings: The first step to getting through the holidays after a loss is to acknowledge your feelings. It's okay not to be okay. Give yourself permission to grieve, to feel the sadness, and to embrace the memories of what once was. The holiday season is not a race; it's a marathon, and it's perfectly fine to take it one step at a time.
Create New Traditions: The absence of a loved one can make old traditions feel painful and hollow. Consider creating new traditions that honor and celebrate the memory of your loved one. It could be lighting a special candle, preparing their favorite dish, or even starting a new holiday activity that brings joy and comfort.
Reach Out for Support: You don't have to navigate the holiday season alone. Reach out to friends, family, or support groups. Share your thoughts and feelings, and let others know how they can support you during this time. Sometimes, just having someone to listen or share a cup of tea can make a world of difference.
Give Yourself Permission to Say No: The holiday season often comes with a barrage of invitations and social obligations. It's crucial to recognize your limits and give yourself permission to say no. If attending a holiday party or event feels too overwhelming, it's okay to decline. Focus on self-care and prioritize your well-being.
Memorialize and Reflect: Take time to memorialize your loved one. Create a scrapbook, write a letter, or assemble a photo collage that celebrates their life and the memories you shared. Use this time for reflection, allowing yourself to appreciate the positive impact they had on your life.
Practice Self-Care: In the hustle and bustle of the season, it's easy to neglect self-care. Make a conscious effort to prioritize your physical and emotional well-being. Whether it's taking a quiet walk, practicing mindfulness, or indulging in a favorite hobby, self-care is an essential part of navigating the holidays after a loss.
Focus on Gratitude: Amidst the pain, find moments of gratitude. Reflect on the positive aspects of your life, the support you receive, and the love that still surrounds you. Gratitude can be a guiding light in the darkness, reminding you that even in loss, there is still room for appreciation and connection.
Remember, healing is a gradual process, and there's no right or wrong way to navigate the holidays after a loss. Give yourself the gift of compassion and patience as you find your way through this season of both sorrow and hope.
Perhaps the most important tip is this:
It is not what you are feeling that is the issue; it’s how you feel about how you are feeling that can trip you up. Sometimes, people start feeling guilty about having fun, because they feel like they are dishonouring the deceased. Other times, they feel worried about the constant sadness. If at all possible, just feel what you feel and at most be curious about how you feel, without judgment. Read more about “Surviving the Holidays” on our blog page now!
Need to talk to someone? Our grief counselling experts are here to help. Please visit https://authenticlivinglondon.janeapp.com/ to book an appointment or a free 15 minute discovery call.